The Reunion

My continuing adventures in Big D... and now the moment you've all been waiting for:

Sunday, July 4th

I would say Happy 4th, but I haven't been this apathetic about a holiday since last year's July 4th. Plus, that really wasn't what was on my mind. The big day has arrived. And I couldn't be more relaxed. My friends and I go have brunch at a really cool restaurant (I can't recall the name, but it's in Uptown). I have a Chicken Fajita omellete. Di-Vine! Jay had chicken fried steak and eggs. The CFS was heavenly. He gave me a pretty big piece. I'm starting to wonder if the marriage joke got to him.

After that we go driving around Lakewood. Wow... beautiful. The houses were huge and pretty. There was a bike path and bikers were riding around, even pulling their little kids in carts. After driving around some more and returning to the apartment, it was Jay's turn to go home. It was great to see him :). The guys (P&K) leave for a barbecue, which I couldn't go to because I was meeting... H.

Now, H & Ro (that's his son... AH is too complicated, I'll just stick to Ro) were on their way back to B/CS from Arkansas when they stopped in Big D to visit me (they were visiting Anne... let's just say if this were a novela she would be my rival. But I think she would play the ingenue and I would be the evil woman who is trying to steal her love away). I was finally going to get to meet Ro (again, I saw him when he was a few months old), and Ro got to meet me :).

Ro is the cutest thing on two legs. He's 4.75 years old, loves to talk, play, run and misbehave (sounds like his Daddy). Ro had eaten, so H & I had BK drive thru, and then we went to a park.

Now, when Ro saw that it was a playground... he looked like he had just won the lottery. He had a sharp intake of air, and his eyes widened to the size of saucers... his cute little lips made an O shape.... and he was the happiest kid on the planet during those 2 seconds of realization. "Can I go play?" "Yes." "Can I even play with the strangers (meaning the little kids that were there that he didn't know)?" "Yes."

As soon as the car door opens and he's let go from his child seat, Ro SCREAMS out to the playground... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!, with a wave of his hand.

This kid had me at Hello :). (well, way before that. Mostly likely at "Hi, ChicaWow" (well, that's not my name, but I'm not gonna print it here...).

Ok, told you about Ro... but what about H? It was weird. I was nervous, but at the same time, I was not. It was like seeing a friend that lives in your same town. I didn't feel completely overwhelmed with... feelings. It was just... normal, I guess. He looked good in his jeans and t-shirt. He's always known how to wear jeans. *mmm*

(I'll be honest here: I'm chubby, and I'm fighting my damndest to lose weight. And I don't want to sound shallow, because I'm not, and I don't care what size or shape he is, I like him just as he is. However, I was relieved he wasn't too big... those shorts I saw him in once really are unflattering :). I just don't want him to get as big as his brother (RIP) was ... I'd be extremely concerned for his health. Plus, if we end up together, both of us heavy is not a good thing. Although I should have lost a lot of weight by the time we get together, which will be... it's looking like never right now. I'll be lonely, but at least I'll be skinny.)

My aunt chided me for not having a more interesting time. We didn't talk about us. At all. I was too afraid to bring the subject up, and he didn't either. We talked about tons of stuff: the wedding, my trip, when the heck I'm getting back to Texas. We took pictures. Probably the best picture of us together after the Ring Dance picture. We both look happy.

After two hours, it was time for him to go. After whining at him to not leave (half=jokingly), he took me back to P's place. The man knows how to hug. I think we would never had stopped hugging had it not been for a tiny voice coming from the backseat that said:

"Can I have a hug?"

I got the two best hugs of my life back to back, on the same day. I couldn't have asked for more.

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On a side note: I stole a peck from him. And it was unreturned. I'll assume it's because he didn't expect it. So of course, I'm freaking out. Great, he doesn't like me... he thinks I'm an idiot. He's thinking: She likes me, but I don't like her that much. I don't know why she won't go away... This is the stuff that kept me up all afternoon. I couldn't take a nap...

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I was somewhat distraught after this meeting. These are my thoughts on that day:

I don't want to move [to Texas] for a 'what if'. I want to move here for a sure thing: because we love each other and want to spend the rest of our lives together.

I love my job. I have waited years for a job like mine. I will not give that up for a 'what if'.

And I figured out why I wanted to cry when he left. I wanted to cry because [I realized] I'm not getting married anytime soon.

He didn't do the things I was hoping he would do: hold my hand, kiss me. He did give me two bear hugs and a tickle. A good one. I tried tickling him back, but he was better at it than me.

I feel foolish because I kissed him on the mouth. I told him, not directly, that he shouldn't eat too much (i.e. get on a diet). And the kiss was a peck, nothing special. Peck and go. I think it caught him by surprise. What I did like was that Ro asked for a hug, too. That was worth the trip.

And now I have less than 24 hours to go back home. To the job I love. To a sad, lonely existence. Why is it that I am happier in Texas than anywhere else? Now I'm crying, and it's because I don't know when will be the next time I see the motherland. It's true I love my family and my job, but it's Texas that I love the most of all.

I wonder what H will think when he reads this.