Procrastination Central

Ok. I have a paper that was due yesterday that I haven't done. Plus a team project, which I've actually worked for. So my paper is still screwed. And I have to hand it in by tonight.

Anyway, I was checking my email and I got messages on e-harmony.com (hey. I'm 28, lonely and if the man I love doesn't love me back, then I need a second option). One of the matches, in his Can't Haves, said he didn't want anyone grossly overweight. Well, I don't think I'm grossly overweight, but I'm not Jennifer Anniston skinny either. I've got curves, babes. Yet, for some bizarre reason, I got a panic attack after reading that. Needed the paper bag and everything. I can't even remember why I had it. (Man... thinking about it is giving me anxiety again...) *bag*

Ok. Better. I don't know. Maybe I'm desperate. Maybe I think I'll never find the right guy for me. I don't know who I would be right for either. I know happiness comes from within oneself, and that you cannot count on others for your happiness (but you). But I'm getting to 28, which is close to 30 (very, uncomfortably close). I'm single. Haven't dated anyone in nearly 2 years. I want kids and the only way for me to have them is with a husband (if you don't agree, that's not my problem, but that is what is right for me). And I'm not getting any younger (see above).

My shrink says I shouldn't do anything until our plan to 'reconstruct' me into a happier self is complete. Unfortunately, I'm not a patient person, and I like to see things happen immediately. I'm not one to wait long. I get desperate (and I get panic attacks sometimes). So I don't know if I have patience right now with making myself better.

I gotta go back to my paper. I'll post my thoughts on critical thinking and then write some more. Lord, help me get through today and tomorrow!