What's My Age Again?

There's a shrink that got lost on Mona Island. Uninhabited except for park rangers, wild goats and pigs, and large iguanas, Mona Island is about 50 miles west of here, and about 14,000 acres of flat plateau. It's riddled with caves, sinkholes and other topography related to limestones. The poor man, who got his PhD at Texas A&M, has been lost for about 5 days. There are about 50 people looking for him, among them, hunters who are familiar with the terrain.

I hope he's ok, although I'm ready to accept the inevitable.

What's funny is that there was a picture of his daughter in the paper, and when I saw her, I went: "Oh, we went to the same school." She's a couple to three years older than I am. And while I was reading the article regarding the family's reaction, I read that she's married.

And them I thought... crap. I'm at that age.

You know, the one where when you were little, you looked up at those people and knew that they weren't as old as your parents, that they're young, but not by much. They're too old to be college students, to young to be parents, or are young parents, and have babies that you can't play with.

Well, I'm one of those people now. Too old to be in college. Too young to be a parent. Although apparently, I'm not too young to be a parent, as most people my age have one, two, even three kids.

Of course, my dream of having kids before I'm thirty has been stomped on, spitted at, and torn repeatedly.

If I had a different train of thought, I would say, "Well, I'm ready to have a baby!", head out to the nearest sperm bank, and select what I think is the least bad of the candidates and presto, I would have one, two or three kids (you know how those in vitro things are). But, I am not one of those so-called 'liberal' women. I understand that you need a mom and a dad to raise a kid right. And I'm not one to shack up, religion or not, (before, I wouldn't mind having all the sex I wanted with my partner, but now I don't do that)... therefore, in order to have a kid, I have to get married.

I was engaged once before, to a guy I was in love with... at least I thought I was. I was actually terrified to get married. I was afraid our marriage would fail, that our love, or whatever it was we felt for each other, would not be strong enough to withstand the external forces that were determined to see us fail. The decision to break up was not a mutual one: he cheated on me (for the 3rd time, nonetheless) while I was home on vacation.

After that, we went our separate ways, and it's not until now that we've reforged the friendship.

However, after him, I really haven't found anyone that special. Sure, I've been on dates. Had a few lovers. But really after my baptism I haven't gone out with anyone (much less anyone in my church). At the same time, I'm afraid my sexual past will scare them away, once the relationship gets meaningful.

Is there something wrong with me? Am I too fat? Too ugly? Too smart? Too americanized? Why can't I find people with my same interest? I feel like I'm the only person on the planet who likes Adult Swim, even though most of the people who watch it are 18-34 year old males. Where the heck are they?

In the meantime, I keep working, going home, hanging out with family, bowling, and not much else. Online dating has been a total dud, and though I have made some friendships, that's all they are. Friendships.

I'm 28 years and a month old. In less than two years, I'll be thirty. And while that may seem like a long time to find someone, get married, and have a baby, it's really not. Plus, the only guy I would marry right now is Seth MacFarlane, and, beside the fact that he lives in California, he's either already married, or gay. Because such is my luck.

PS- Regarding the bet, neither of us is Master of their Domain. Let's just say we mutually agreed to end the bet... *satisfied grin*